You’re the greatest! I think you deserve a medal! You kick butt! Wow! I believe now… You are a god! I have never known anyone as awesome as you. I think you are the epitome of all things great! You are the All-Being of Space, Time, and Dimension! You are so big! So absolutely HUGE! Gosh, we’re all impressed in here I can tell you! Some of those moves back there were totally rad! I tremble in your presence… You shred pixels! I bow low to the Master. The King of Control The Dynamo of the D-Pad! The Pres of Rez! You are the best game player in the history of the state. No, more like the Country. Actually, the best in the history of the Earth! Or even Proxima Centauri! And let’s not forget the Universe! We are talking the best in the Cosmic Quantum Continuum of All Existence! Well. …now that I think about it, there was this one guy in Toledo, Ohio Man, was he good! You two should get together for a playoff. You take the lacy, Chinese girl and he’ll take the blond, surfer dude. Helicopter to hurricane. throw to throw. combo to combo… We’ll see who’s standing in the end. In life there are winners and losers… And video games are a microcosm of life… In video games, you don’t have to wait 50 years to find out if you suck. In a few hours of playing, you’ll get the picture… You’re either a rocking stud, dominating and conquering all… Or a broken loser, forever lost in the smelly cesspool of obscure mediocrity. So you’re pretty good at this stuff? Do you have a life? Or do you play games all day? Is your thumb swollen like a plum? What’s Newton’s third law? Who was the 24th President of the United States? No. It wasn’t that Italian plumber with a mushroom habit! Hmmm… Just think what you could have done today instead… You could have found a cure for cancer… You could have invented a fuel source that didn’t need dead dinosaurs… You could have cut a hit Grunge album… You could have seen the sun for once! You know… That bright orange ball that seems to hang around the sky during the day. So, what are you waiting for… Go have a life… Get out of those superhero pajamas and do something! Feel the sunshine on your phosphorescent burned face! You’re done. You came… You saw… YOU WON! Check this out…